I Have You Now
Tucked away where worries shouldn’t exist. Warmth and nourishment are common place. Each day was a joy. Even then our existence was small, our thoughts short and we put all of our trust in mommy to protect us. But as life has it, things can take drastic turns.
I was sound asleep when it started. I was so comfortable, snuggled up with my sister against our mommy. When I woke to a horrible scream from my sister. It startled me like nothing I had experienced before and I could hear mommy crying. Suddenly my sister started jerking forcefully, then she slammed up against me, not once but over and over again. I could start to hear mommy’s heart beat faster and faster and hear her crying and feel her twitching intensely. I could tell something was very wrong with mommy and things were getting much worse in here.
Suddenly the warm fluid that was our home, our nest, our entire world began to vanish and the walls that had been held back by that warm liquid began to close in. By this time my littler sister was fighting for her life and the only thing to hold onto was me, so she clasped my hand in a strength I don’t think she even knew she had! My hand gave in as her heavy grip persisted. I could not hold on. I tried to pull her toward me, but some other force stronger than both of us had invaded our home, and it had it’s evil hand on her
Her screaming intensified. I could feel her grip starting to weaken! “Oh Sissy”, I thought, “Don’t leave me!”. I held on as tight as I could. Abruptly she convulsed frantically back and forth, then nothing….I was starting to taste something salty in the fluid. She was still and lifeless. Then what was left of the fluid that was once abundant was now almost gone. My sister laid motionless. In this quick moment of silence and calm I could feel my mother’s pounding heart beating against my whole body. It was almost numbing. What was happening? What has she done with my dear, dear sister? What was she doing to me? How is it possible to go on? I am so small and have such little strength. My thoughts were interrupted by a bright light, blinding to me in this place that had been forever dark and warm. Then my companion for life was yanked from my hand. Swiftly towards the light she went! Then darkness! Loneliness, fear, by myself for the first time. Now I could feel my mommy trembling uncontrollably. All this intense emotion was incomprehensible.
What was next? Would this madness continue? It was getting hard to breath, pressure surrounded me and I felt like I had never felt before. I was getting cold. I could feel myself slipping into something like a sleep, but it was different. I could not fight it. I closed my weary eyes.
The light appeared once again but it was different. I felt warm again. “What had happened?” I asked myself. I didn’t even need to open my eyes, I could tell there was a calming light everywhere . A Man was holding me, comforting me and saying “it is OK baby, I have you now!” I opened my eyes to take in this peaceful and joyful feeling that so quickly replaced the despair I felt just a moment ago. This Man was also holding my sister. She was laughing and held her hand out for me to take once more. This Man softly spoke to us and said “I have prepared a place for you! I have been waiting for you since we laid the foundations of this earth. And My hand will always be there for you. The joy and peace you feel is forever, now rest my little ones and tomorrow we will walk together over these streets of gold.”
Author: David Aikin